Funny Status Ideas

Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

If you don’t want people asking for rides again, say yes the first time but don’t show up.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.

I wish some people's cardio exercise consisted of running into traffic.

The baby gets really annoyed when I try to undress him. He gets that from his mother.

Imagine, for a moment, what you could accomplish if you had the persistence and drive of the Adobe Acrobat Reader updater.