Funny Status Ideas

Anger is a valuable tool. Little has done more to change this world for the better than someone who is pissed off at the way things are.

I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.

Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyways?

If your name exceeds four syllables, I’m gonna just call you “hey”

It's been an exhausting day of pretending I'm a pleasant person.

The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took three.

After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...