Funny Status Ideas

When parents on Facebook post about how they can't believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he'd be held back!"

Why does tasty mean that a thing tastes good and smelly mean that a thing smells bad?

When doing an Internet search for the movie "Monsters Ball", make sure you put the "s" at the end of the right word. Trust me on this one.

Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.

If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.

By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.

Push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of juse one piece. Burn your ex's house down. I believe in you!