Funny Status Ideas

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.

Jared began and ended his Subway career trying to get into smaller and smaller pants.

When I think of you I touch myself. On my temples. You give me a migraine.

Next time you go to the bank and they ask you if you'd like large bills, just look at them dead serious and say "No, normal size ones if you don't mind."

There are over 1,000 billionaires alive today and not one of those losers has decided to become batman.

There was random drug testing at work today but I couldn't decide which one I liked best.

Heck is where you go if you don’t believe in Gosh.