Funny Status Ideas

Whenever you're feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!

Why is it that I only ever seem to run over cats that are on their last life?

I'm first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.

I love Costco. You don't go there thinking you're gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you'll probably leave with one.

The only thing that makes me happy about the launch of a new model cell phone is that I can finally afford the previous model.

I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.

You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.