Funny Status Ideas

Divorce is what happens when two people win an argument.

It's not easy being a parent these days. Texting in all caps just doesn't have the same impact as good, old fashioned yelling.

You autocomplete me. Let's duck.

It's amazing the things I can remember when I don't need to remember anything.

To err is human...To arr! is pirate

How do I like my eggs? In a cake...

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.