Funny Status Ideas

I don't think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.

I just helped a really old person put their groceries in my car.

I'm not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.

I'm beginning to think they invented the wireless mouse just so there was one less thing to use to hang yourself with at work.

VW have got into trouble for falsifying data, apparently this is not the first time the Germans have been found guilty of lying about gas emissions.

All toasters should be "see through"

I'm really glad chicken breast don't have nipples. That would be very disturbing.