Funny Status Ideas

For Halloween I'm going as the US government. When kids come by to trick-or-treat I will take a bite of 1/3 of all their candy.

Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.

A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.

I always found it a little counter productive when the teacher would say “Don’t get smart with me!”

Practice safe text – use commas and never miss a period.

This Halloween, the only Candy I'm interested in swings from a pole and has daddy issues.

I'm currently watching the Spanish version of The Highlander. There can only be Juan!