Funny Status Ideas

With great power comes great electricity bill.

A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind

Is the Internet hiring?...I put my 40 hours in this week.

Skipping stairs on the way up, no problem. Skipping stairs on the way down, certain death.

Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

I have faith that your future won't include you being a crazy cat lady, just because you're more of a dog person.

The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.