Funny Status Ideas

#17408
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Florida
To my wife: We're not getting older. We're getting more interesting to medical professionals.
#17407
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Xyuppi
‪I was drinking at a bar then I took a bus home. That doesn’t seems very odd to you but I’ve never driven a bus before ‬
#17406
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Xyuppi
‪instead of a condom, carry a moist towelette in your wallet. You run into chicken wings a lot more offer than sex. ‬
#17405
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Xyuppi
‪If you’re arguing loudly on your cell in public, please put it on speaker. I need to hear both side of the story. ‬
#17404
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Xyuppi
‪Allow your children to believe in Santa Claus. You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining the magic for you .
Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed?
The first dog to pee on Mars would temporarily be the dog lord of a whole planet.
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