Funny Status Ideas

I think I turned back my clock way too much I just saw a guy with a mullet at Starbucks.

Daylight savings is great because we gain an hour of trying to figure out what time it is.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Will I be able to enjoy A Star is Born if I haven't seen the other Bourne movies?

Kissing is weird. At some point, multiple cultures independently came to the conclusion that wanting to lick the inside of somebody's mouth shouldn't be exclusive to dogs.

When I'm not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.

My favorite part about Halloween is seeing all the confused Jehovah's Witnesses wandering around, wondering why they've been given lolly pops.