Funny Status Ideas

You can't fight Destiny. Because if you try to fight Destiny, then you have to fight the bouncers and the rest of the strippers too...

If your foot falls asleep during the day, does that mean it will be up all night? Is that what Restless Leg Syndrome is all about?

My doctor said I'm healthy enough for sexual activity. She said I'm just not attractive enough.

Remember folks, it's bad luck to be superstitious!

There would be a lot less people willing to run for public office if the losers were required to pick up all the lawn signs afterwards.

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them. The police call it "Indecent Exposure" but whatever.....

A set of jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.