Funny Status Ideas

My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.

A bear with no teeth is a gummy bear

For once I would like to live my "Vida" without the "Loca"

My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.

Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on cars saying "Sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it.

Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?

I dont know what it is about sex that has me panting afterwards. Maybe its the physical exertion, complex techniques, age... or could just be inflating the damn dummy every single time!