Funny Status Ideas

I'm taking my paycheck to the bank, because it's too little to go by itself.

I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.

It's so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.

Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.

Facebook's list of "suggested friends" is quite literally a list of people I've been avoiding my entire life.

My New Year's Resolution is to stop procrastinating making decisions.

If I could have Superpowers, I think it would be either the ability to fly, the ability to turn myself invisible, or the ability to understand women.