Funny Status Ideas

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy.

My kids are crying while eating ice cream. It doesn't make sense. I think they're broken.

Sorry I can’t go to the new Charlie Brown movie with you. I’m allergic to peanuts.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.

My autocorrect just changed "meditate" to "medicate". It knows me too well.

It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse "right of way" with "immortality".