Funny Status Ideas

I'm paying my taxes with a smile, but they wrote me back saying they want cash.

The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said "That's how I want you to do it"

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water: number 1 and number 2

The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.

I haven't seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he's OK.

Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon.