Funny Status Ideas

For daylight savings, we should move the clocks forward an hour on Monday at 9 AM so that we lose an hour of work instead of sleep.

Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission

99% of people are stupid. Luckily, I'm part of the other 3%.

My closet is like 15 shirts I plan to fit into again and 1 shirt I wear every day.

Never raise your hand to your children. It leaves your midsection unprotected.

Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn't have said out loud.

I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.