Funny Status Ideas

Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.

I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…

If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

Parking your new fancy car in 2 spots doesn't protect it. It makes it a target.

Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..

I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance. Is there something dirty about car insurance we should know about?

Happy St. Patrick's day. Never iron a 4-leaf clover. You do not want to press your luck!