Funny Status Ideas

Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11, and birthday candles. Do your damn job.

Hulk Hogan is the highest paid pornstar of all time! 1 movie! $115 million!

Why its called tourist season if you can't shoot them!

I'm not going to jump on the "I hate Monday morning" bandwagon because I hate all work days equally.

After looking at my brackets today, they should call it March Sadness...

If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?

Proactive is good for your skin but even better for letting you know which celebrities need money.