Funny Status Ideas

Do dogs in Mexico speak Espaniel?

Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos.

Police Officer: "TURN AROUND" Me: *sings* "Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round…"

I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. But giving payment when payment is due is an entirely different thing.

While someone is speaking to me, 80% of my inner dialogue is just wondering if my face looks interested.

I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or something.

I just made a voodoo doll of myself. Can someone take it to the gym?