Funny Status Ideas

Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.

It's okay, Web MD. I don't really know what's wrong with me either.

All the guys from 'Pawn Stars' should compete on an episode of 'The Price is Right'

My insomnia is getting so bad that I can't even sleep at work.

I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone.

I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me.

I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day