Funny Status Ideas

If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.

I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed." I’m always ready for bed.

I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I am doing an excellent job driving." Then cut people off so they won't know what to do.

Menstruation is like organizing a party without inviting any guests, then angrily throwing out all the decorations when no one shows up.

Kudos to the guy at Starbucks that said his name was "Bueller" and left before his coffee was done, leaving the barista calling him over and over

I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.

A real modern miracle would be for Jesus to turn water into reasonable priced gasoline.