Funny Status Ideas

I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then, I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine...

I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn't pay attention to, that turned out to be major plot turning points....

Despite the amazing features of Clark Kent as Superman, I think his greatest superpower was to convince everyone around him that he wasn't superman simply by wearing glasses. Well,. either that or Metropolis was a really stupid town.

I'm pretty sure Darius Rucker stated his solo country career just so people would stop calling him "Hootie"

McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window...

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.