Funny Status Ideas

Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Law and Order episode.

Dropping a beer and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not funny when you live by yourself

I used to think I was a man of vision. Now I'm pretty sure they're just hallucinations.

Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?

What if the only reason you can't pass through a mirror is because you are blocking yourself?

Getting out of bed in the morning always gave me a headache until I tried it feet first.

A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils