Funny Status Ideas

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.

How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren't just victims of Medusa?

When I hear, 9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans, I think there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches.

I thought I'd try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I'm still incredibly stubborn.

If your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

The best part of being a watch maker is that you get to make your own hours.