Funny Status Ideas

How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren't just victims of Medusa?

When I hear, 9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans, I think there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches.

I thought I'd try yoga to make myself more flexible, but I'm still incredibly stubborn.

If your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.

The best part of being a watch maker is that you get to make your own hours.

Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Law and Order episode.

Dropping a beer and sticking it back in the fridge all shaken up for the next person to open is not funny when you live by yourself