Funny Status Ideas

When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.

I have an L shaped couch... Lower case.

I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you're free."

If a blind girl ever tells you that you have a big penis, she's probably just pulling your leg

Besides creating dinosaurs are mosquitos good for anything?

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

After announcing our weight at birth, parents shouldn’t stop. If they announced it at every birthday, we’d all be a lot skinnier.