Funny Status Ideas

I hope my coworkers think my clicking furiously on the computer is a sign of productivity, rather than trying to beat my time on minesweeper

We need to start thinking what kind of world we're leaving to Keith Richards after we die.

In video games, you gain XP from success. In real life, you gain XP from failure.

If you smoke weed before an eating contest, are you technically on performance enhancing drugs?

My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.

Compare to Victoria' secret, what Starbucks charges for a cup isn't that bad.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery