Funny Status Ideas

In video games, you gain XP from success. In real life, you gain XP from failure.

If you smoke weed before an eating contest, are you technically on performance enhancing drugs?

My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.

Compare to Victoria' secret, what Starbucks charges for a cup isn't that bad.

A plateau is the highest form of flattery

Jews, Christians and Muslims have been fighting one another for centuries. Hindus, on the other hand, have no beef with anyone.

The last time I went to a nude beach I got a ticket. The officer said I was applying my sunscreen...Too Fast.