Funny Status Ideas

Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There's liquor and you can't hear them.

My reality check bounced.

I’m not antisocial. It’s just that most people don’t make the cut.

I wish I could swap my central nervous system for a central confidence system.

Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.

An airplane must be the scariest experience for someone with a peanut allergy.

I'm not stealing my neighbor's WiFi, their WiFi is trespassing into my house.