Funny Status Ideas

I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.

I don't think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.

There is nothing more terrifying than sneezing while driving.

I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall sleep faster.

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?

The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.

My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now