Funny Status Ideas

This Pokemon Go crap is getting ridiculous. I just saw a fight breakout between the pokebloods and the pokecrips.

I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.

If I live to be 100, I'm gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...

Caterpillars have it made. They eat a lot, go to sleep, then wake up beautiful.

“Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.

If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.

I wish we had staff meetings in the garden. The plants would've love the fertilizer.