Funny Status Ideas

If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…

If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don't: technically, you did

Neighbors just kicked me out of their shower and called the cops. Some of these pokemon go instructions are confusing. A lot of grey area...

No matter how stupid you feel, remember that Little Red Riding Hood couldn't figure out a talking wolf in a dress wasn't really her grandmother

When you have a lot, you have hair. When you only have a few, you have hairs.

Ironically "Chumbawamba" totally got knocked down and never got up again.

Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!