Funny Status Ideas

If 9/11 had happened in July, Seven-Eleven would have been screwed.

I believe that if you love something, you should let it go. This is why you should never let me hold your baby.

I don't care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.

I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.

Claiming a product promotes "Weight Loss" when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming that it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.

Ironically, the mullet was probably created to STOP red necks.

My boss hates it when i shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.