Funny Status Ideas

I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?

Nothing in the world is more expensive than a girl who's free for the weekend.

Two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights do make an airplane.

I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain

It's so damn hot outside, I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.

Pretty sure I look forward to my boss' vacation's more than he does.

Antibiotics could be considered a performance enhancing drug at this year's Olympics.