Funny Status Ideas

Whether a Vacuum is on or off, it's always collecting dust.

What happened to all the Sour Patch parents?

Let's be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN'T think he's the most interesting man in the world?

I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.

I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.

Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?

I've spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the game so I may need new meds...