Funny Status Ideas

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what’s inside.

Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"

I took a blood test today and got a B+. Any tips so that I can get an A next time?

The next time you're afraid to share an idea because you think it's stupid, remember that someone once suggested in a meeting that they make a movie about a tornado filled with sharks.

In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.

My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.

It would be helpful to have the audience from “The Price is Right” around when I am making those critical life decisions.