Funny Status Ideas

Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?

Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".

I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since I walked there...

I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.

Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?

My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.

I'm so glad my face doesn’t have a progress bar that shows how long it takes me to understand what someone is saying.