Funny Status Ideas

I took a blood test today and got a B+. Any tips so that I can get an A next time?

The next time you're afraid to share an idea because you think it's stupid, remember that someone once suggested in a meeting that they make a movie about a tornado filled with sharks.

In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.

My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.

It would be helpful to have the audience from “The Price is Right” around when I am making those critical life decisions.

Can we start calling walruses: Saber Tooth Seals?

Whenever you're feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!