Funny Status Ideas

Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.

Mission Impossible? He’s done four of them now. Let’s call it “Mission Pretty Hard but Totally Doable”

I can't wait till the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they're jerks.

My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.

If you get Mickey Mouse ears at Disney World, what do you get at Dollywood?

Letting your date use your phone charger, even though you're at 25%, is the 21st century equivalent of putting your coat over a puddle.

My doctor prescribed me some suppositories for my nausea. They’re not the best medicine in the world, but they’re right up there.