Funny Status Ideas

The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.

I found my wife through online dating. So, she's definitely got some explaining to do!

Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.

I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So this year, I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 3%.

Starbucks isn't really that expensive compared to how much Victoria's Secret charges per cup.

When people said they sleep like a baby, it's because they do not have one.

I can hear music coming from my printer. I think the paper's jammin' again.