Funny Status Ideas

Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.

I want to be something really scary for Halloween. So this year, I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 3%.

Starbucks isn't really that expensive compared to how much Victoria's Secret charges per cup.

When people said they sleep like a baby, it's because they do not have one.

I can hear music coming from my printer. I think the paper's jammin' again.

Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.

Mission Impossible? He’s done four of them now. Let’s call it “Mission Pretty Hard but Totally Doable”