Funny Status Ideas

I was going to go to the movies today, but the theater is closed because the owner died. The funeral will be held tomorrow at 12:30....2:15....4:45....and 7:20.

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

Movies are so unrealistic. This guy’s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade Adobe Reader…

My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.

In order to start my deer breeding business I’m going to need 5,000 bucks

The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood.

I found my wife through online dating. So, she's definitely got some explaining to do!