Funny Status Ideas

Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.

What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?

I put the 'sexy' in Dyslexic.

Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia and you'll see a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday.

The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.

Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?

Daylight savings time feels like a tax refund check. You're just getting back something you didn't want taken from you in the first place.