Funny Status Ideas

The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.

“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.

They say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry. It's been several days now, what should I do?

Memes have gotten Joe Biden more publicity than his vice presidency did.

Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.

My doctor said he's been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?

I'm beginning to think the only reason I buy bananas is to watch them die a painful death on my counter.