Funny Status Ideas

A man had an accident while playing Peekaboo. He’s currently in the ICU

It’s July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting out the Christmas stuff out any day now.

You know you bought the right fireworks when the guy running the stand gives you a “high four”

Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There's like 10 women to each man and they're already there looking for things they don't need.

I'm not saying you shouldn't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won & the number of iPads I own.

The guy who named the "Chimichanga" should really be given more authority to name things

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?