Funny Status Ideas

I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together.

Due to inflation, you may now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 8.9 seconds.

I keep saying Alexa when I mean to say Siri and I just cant believe that I live in a time where i am getting my servant robots' names mixed up.

I’m getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand

O.J Simpson can now rest easy knowing his ex-wife's killer is dead.

I'm bored. I think I'll go to WalMart, find a great parking spot and sit in the truck with my reverse lights on for awhile.

Is it just me or do you think there's something terribly wrong with YouTube playing a 30 second commercial from their sponsor before watching a How to operate a fire extinguisher during an emergency video?