Funny Status Ideas

I recently bought a toilet brush. To make a long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper.

Kids in middle school showing off their double jointed appendages is the original weird flex

Typing the word "skepticism" is like playing Pong with your keyboard

“She has good child-birthing hips” is just the 1800s way of saying “Dayum, she's thicc!”

"Family owned and operated" makes a monarchy sound a lot friendlier.

It sucks getting old. The only haircut I need now is in my nose and ears.

It bothers me that someone may steal my identity and use it to make thousands of dollars behind my back. It mostly bothers me because I currently have my identity and can't figure out how to do that..