Funny Status Ideas

Without a doubt, the cashew is my favorite nut that sounds like a sneeze.

Kids are fun, but I prefer playing with the package they came in.

When I say “I hate drama” I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan.

Studies show the most expensive vehicle to operate is a Costco shopping cart.

I couldn’t find a parking spot at my job this morning so I just left. They got enough people.

My knee just cracked so loud that I half expected it to glow in the dark.

Gatorade invests millions in sports advertising and its top customers are people with hangovers.