Funny Status Ideas

My doctor told me today that I was too sweet. Well, her exact words were, "severely diabetic", but I knew what she meant.

Imagine a world where everyone looked like their profile pictures.

I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

The Dentist said I need a crown. Finally someone who understands me!

McDonalds should have a 3rd window where you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window...

It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.

I just want to be as happy as the characters in any horror movie are during the first half hour of the film.