Funny Status Ideas

#17649
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ZYuppi
If you have to guess what a commercial is selling, it's always perfume.
Dear Congress: Just turn off the lights, lock the doors and remain quiet... just like our schools have been doing the last decade
#17647
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Xyuppi
We have a $740+ BILLION defense budget and the rest of the world just watched our Capitol get stormed by the cast rejects of Duck Dynasty.
#17646
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Xyuppi
Farting under the covers it’s not longer a “Dutch oven”. It has become a COVID test. If you can smell or taste it, you’re negative.
Why should I trust the toothpaste recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists when they're the ones who make money fixing people's teeth?
#17644
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Xyuppi
I just called my bank and told them I want to find 11,780 more dollars in my account by tomorrow and that they counted wrong.
#17643
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Xyuppi
Shout out to all the dads who got chores list cleverly disguised as Home Depot gift cards for Christmas
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