Funny Status Ideas

My mom's texts are so much more fun after my sister told her that WTF means "Wow, That's Fantastic."

At my age, you have home Ibuprofen and work Ibuprofen.

Well, to be frank, I'd have to change my name.

My mood ring is missing and I don't know how to feel about it.

Just sold my homing pigeon on eBay again.

Any psychic who has bells on their door to let them know someone is there is probably not worth it.

Dear friends older than 37: You don't have to put 2 spaces after the period anymore. That was for the typewriter era. You're free.