Funny Status Ideas

It would be awesome if we had an alarm clock that puts us to sleep instantly at a certain time instead of waking us up.

My debit card is starting to feel like a gift card. "Not sure how much is on this, but we'll give it a try."

As a kid you avoid swearing in front of adults. As an adult you avoid swearing in front of kids.

It's kind of patronizing that a computer asks you to prove you're not a robot.

I’m staring a petition for Barbara Walters to do the Ball Drop next New Year just to hear her say “ I’m Barbara Walters, and this is 2020”

I messed up already. 2020 is going to be my year for sure.

Ever notice that the person who says "See you next year!" on New Years Eve is always someone you wouldn't mind not seeing for the entire year?