Funny Status Ideas

Why do guys go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. There's like 10 women to each man and they're already there looking for things they don't need.

I'm not saying you shouldn't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won & the number of iPads I own.

The guy who named the "Chimichanga" should really be given more authority to name things

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?

William Shatner has discontinued his new line of ladies lingerie. Apparently "Shatner Panties" wasn't the best choice for a name.

I know a guy who opened a bar for men with erectile dysfunction. It was a total flop. Nobody came.

Don't expect me to stop if you break down on the road. I'm sure that you were warned about your car's warranty expiring.