Funny Status Ideas

I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today

HAPPY 3rd of JULY EVERYONE!!! I mean I guess this is a thing based on the continuous amount of fireworks people are blowing up right now!

Does anyone have a Volkswagen Beetle? Could I borrow it for an afternoon to drive around and count how many people I see punch one another?

If the chemical symbol for water is H2O... is the chemical symbol for holy water H2Omg?

The Lord moves in mysterious ways, but you don't have to. Use your turn signal!

Alcohol is like a potion with +5 charisma and -2 dexterity that you can only buy if you're above a certain level.

Ducks are pretty much just all-terrain chickens.