Funny Status Ideas

If the Paleo diet is so good then why did the Flintstones need vitamins?

Helium addiction is horrible because no one takes your cries for help seriously.

White Claw tastes like you are drinking TV static while someone screams the name of a fruit from another room.

People think I’m good at keeping secrets but the truth is I’m just bad at paying attention to what you told me.

You make me a better person of interest.

I wonder what the part of my brain, that used to store telephone numbers, is doing nowadays.

Back in my day we had so much toilet paper and eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.