Funny Status Ideas

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee

Maybe dogs think that "good boy/good girl" is just a command to act happy and they're just being obedient.

Had a crazy dream last night that I was being chased through the woods by squirrels until I suddenly woke up and realized I must be a nut.

One of my biggest fears is that I'll marry into a family that does 5ks on holidays.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

I wonder if Vanna ever fell asleep at the wheel

Botox doesn't make you look young, it makes you look like you think you're old.