Funny Status Ideas

Chickens: The only animals you eat before they're born AND after they're dead.

The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.

Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a douche.

I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.

I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.

˙ʇuǝpıɔɔɐ ʎq pɹɐoqʎǝʞ uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uɐ ʇɥbnoq ı dןǝɥ