Funny Status Ideas

It's such a cold winter this year that the squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual. So far 3 of my neighbors have disappeared...

Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that

I'd like to go to Holland someday wooden shoe?

The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.

The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!

Is it odd to anyone else that a telephone makes sound travel faster than the speed of sound?

In high school, I wasn't the class clown. I was the class trapeze artist, because I was always suspended.