Funny Status Ideas

I don't care how much you like the soap. Never leave a public restroom smelling your fingers.

‪"Memory foam pillow fights". That's one fight you'll never forget. ‬

I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.

Beyonce's twins will never have to work a day in their life. She should name one of them Lay-Z.

Deja poo..... The feeling that you've heard this crap before

I'm a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don't care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.

Donald Trump's hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.