Funny Status Ideas

I’m broke ! So when I said “call me if you need anything” I meant, prayer, support & hugs. You know, free stuff.

Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who is a good boy.

A big nose is no excuse to not wear a mask. I still wear pants.

One teacher can change your whole life. Like the one that knocked up my cousin.

We used to experiment with launching monkeys into space. Now it is CEOs. Progress.

WalMart is giving away free school clothes to anyone that can outrun security

Jury Duty is where the government calls you when they want and says, "Hey Bro, we need you to solve a murder, here's $15.00."