Funny Status Ideas

Bricks are just rocks that have been domesticated.

What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?

I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it's fighting fire with fire!

It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.

I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.

The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”